Yesterday, while breastfeeding my little man, I watched the movie Bad Moms for the first time. I’d purchased the DVD on a whim, while shopping for some new socks for J, seeing as all his others were suddenly too small. All I expected from this movie was a comedy about mums behaving badly – I’d only seen the trailer without sound, and hadn’t read the blurb on the back of the case. It turned out to be a funny-but-empowering film, with a poignant underlying message about standards and expectations (those of others, as well as our own) around motherhood.
I want to clear the air about something: There’s no such thing as getting ‘back into pre-baby shape’.
Why, you ask? Because your body will never be exactly the same as it was before, after having carried a child. YOU won’t be the same. For the rest of your life, your time, your patience, your energy, and your heart will belong, in large part, to someone else.
But, don’t despair! I’m NOT here to tell you that you’ll never look or feel great again. In fact, I’m here to tell you the EXACT opposite. I’m here to tell you the story of how life AFTER baby can be even BETTER than it was before, both physically and emotionally.
There is a lot of stigma attached to being a single mother, particularly if you don’t get along with your child(ren)’s father. Somehow, the accomplishment of raising your kids while not being engaged in a traditional family unit (with all the built-in help that usually entails) is overshadowed by the culturally-ingrained prejudice against single-parent or non-traditionally comprised families. Until my family unit became one of these, I had not realised exactly how much these preconceptions abound.
I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Lana, 8 months ago. I had an easy labour compared to the average, but a not-so-easy birth! Following a long induced labour with no pain relief for the first five hours of active labour, my baby just did not want to come out; so I had an epidural for the next three hours, which led to an unplanned C-section one and a half hours after that! It’s incredible how you never forget your labour story. Every time I tell the story, I feel the pain I went through – yikes! Nothing really does prepare you for child birth …
A week after Lana was born, I had my routine check-up with the doctor. She taught me and my husband (who was rather freaked out!) how to check the abdominal separation that had occurred during pregnancy. Now, I don’t know about you, but I was rather surprised to have learned that over 9 months, my abs had separated 3cm!
Taylor is a fitness-oriented mum of one little girl, who I “met” on Instagram. She enjoys exercising, both alone and with her daughter, and I’m happy she decided to share a little bit about her fitness journey in this series.
So, it’s a new year and you have a new baby at home, which for some of us may mean a new YOU. Not in the way of becoming a different person or losing who you used to be. But by making you a better you. For the next eighteen years, maybe more for some of us, every decision you make will no longer just affect you, but also your child. You now have this precious bundle of joy, and all you can think about is making sure they are safe, healthy and loved. Three things that many of us moms want for ourselves. So, you’re looking at that beautiful, innocent child that you have brought into this world and thinking: How can I give you those three things? You change.
Welcome to a new guest series! Exercise and a certain level of fitness helps to make pregnancy easier. As a lifelong dancer (hobby, not profession), I was always reasonably fit; but I danced for joy, not fitness, and fitness didn’t really preoccupy me much. During my pregnancy, walking helped to keep me mobile, and stretches helped me maintain the majority of my pre-pregnancy flexibility. But, once the SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) set in, even walking became a struggle.
I’m super excited to take part in my first daily challenge! Blogtober popped up on my radar at just the right time, when I found myself in a slump with my blog productivity. I’d been on a roll and suddenly everything was on top of me, with so many things to do and not enough time to do them! I made a spreadsheet to keep track of guest posts, planned blogs, and various other blog-related tasks, so now I’m getting back on top of things.
I guess that brings me to the first thing I can tell you about me: I’m organised. I love planning – holidays, parties, degrees, purchases, renovations, everything! I started this blog because I kept encountering conflicting “mummy advice” and wanted a place to share my thoughts and experiences as a new mum. My passion is writing, and I am thoroughly enjoying producing content for this blog.
I originally started this blog after receiving one too many bits of conflicting advice. It frustrated and confused me to have so many sources telling me different “correct” ways of caring for my baby. As I’ve mentioned before, this made me realise that every mum and every baby is different, and each of us needs to do what’s best for our child and our situation.
Yesterday I got a message from WordPress, saying that it’s been a month since I started this blog:
I was surprised that it had already been that long – it certainly doesn’t feel like it, which, I guess, is a good sign. maintaining this blog doesn’t feel like work, and looking into different ways of improving it and getting it out there for mummy bloggers to read is actually pretty exciting!
As mums, we spend a lot of time feeling guilty, when we probably shouldn’t. We feel guilty for feeling tired, for wanting to eat a meal that hasn’t gone cold, for wanting a couple of minutes of silence. We shouldn’t feel guilty for those things – they’re not a lot of ask for, but we push them aside in favour of holding our babies when they’re crying or doing the laundry because we’ve run out of clothes.